I think I am ready for the change. In many ways it feels as though it has already happened. This week has brought the feeling of an onlooker in my "life" here. Don't get me wrong- times with the kids have been great- There's no choice in that matter. They are doing well, though I can tell the separation from Daddy is getting harder at the end of each weekend. The actual move will be hard for them, but as the reality of this settles in for me, I see that my place here- or anywhere for that matter- is temporal. Relationships are more fluid than I imagined, and life goes on. It doesn't seem like it should- like this earth-shaking change in your life should as deeply affect those around you as it does you. That's not realistic and I am coming to see that. (Not in a bad way- I am not trying to lash out here!) :)
It's an odd feeling. I know I need to withdraw from things here. It's only natural, and healthy, not to stay latched on to what's comfortable and to transition into the new things God is bringing. I guess I just didn't foresee it all happening before I actually had to go- and that's been the revelation this week. It's probably a form of self-protection- withdrawing from what you know won't last.
I just wish it was easy.